What students taught me (and I did not see it coming)

When I started facilitating about a year ago, I genuinely thought I was the one walking in with lessons, wisdom, and a neatly planned session outline.

Fast forward to today? if you ask me, I was the student all along.

I’m serious when I say no motivational speaker, no bestselling book, and no underlined highlighter paragraph has taught me as much as these students have.

So I’d love to share a few of those takeaways with you. They’re the kind that don’t come with quotes on slides… but they have stayed with me long after the session ended.

1) Vulnerability comes from strength

It takes courage to express the ‘not so good parts of yourself’. Students don’t wait to be perfectly confident to speak. They speak despite the nerves. I’ve seen hands go up with sentences that begin with, “I’m not sure, but…” and guess what it’s completely okay.

2. Failures do not need funerals

Adults treat failure like a diagnosis. Students treat it like feedback.

In one activity, adults over-analysed and got stuck. The students didn’t crack the answer immediately either but they laughed, tried again, argued playfully, failed loudly, and kept going.

They weren’t trying to protect their self-image. They were too busy enjoying the challenge.

It made me realise something simple that failure hurts the most when we think it says something about who we are.

3. ‘I don’t know’ can be a sign of clarity, not confusion.

During a discussion on New Year resolutions, one student said, “I don’t know yet. I don’t think there’s any point in deciding once and not following it. We should set goals throughout the year.”

No hesitation. No apology.

That wasn’t uncertainty. That was thinking.

He did not rush to sound wise.

4. Boundaries don’t arrive with explanations and that’s okay.

Some students choose not to share. They don’t soften it. They don’t justify it.

They simply say, “I don’t feel it.”

And then they move on.

Watching this made me uncomfortable at first because it showed me how often adults over-explain their ‘no’ just to keep others at ease.

Students reminded me that a boundary isn’t rude just because it’s calm.

5. Being ‘impressive’ is exhausting. Being real is sustainable.

This became clear during a 1:1 mentoring session with a student preparing for interviews.

He was worried his answers weren’t impressive enough. So we paused and asked a different question: Are they true?

Once we let go of performance, his responses became simpler, more grounded, and unmistakably his.

That session reminded me that be it interviews, classrooms, life… people don’t connect with polish. They connect with presence.

6. Kindness isn’t taught. It’s unlearned out of us.

Students notice who hasn’t spoken. They clap the loudest for others. They step in when someone is being left out without being told to.

I’ve seen them celebrate someone else’s answer like it was their own win.

Empathy shows up naturally when the room isn’t obsessed with ranking.

Somewhere along the way, adults label this as “soft.”

Empathy is natural, we just forget it as we grow up.

7. Strength doesn’t always need an audience.

I’ve watched students listen instead of rushing to speak. Sit quietly with discomfort. Choose patience over proving a point.

No dramatic confidence. No performance. Just steadiness.

They taught me that strength doesn’t always announce itself.

Sometimes, it simply stays.

I started these sessions thinking I’d be the adult in the room, the one with the insights, the frameworks, the answers.

Seven months later, I still bring the whiteboard. But I leave with notes I didn’t plan to take.

And I’ll leave you here with this food for thought today!