Why me?

My friend asked me the most dreaded question a couple days back.

“How did it make you feel?”

It’s the type of question we do not generally look forward to. It makes us spiral into thoughts, get the urge to pull out our hair, or go to bed with an intention to never get out of it.

But this time, it offered a much needed realisation.

To establish a bit of context, I had applied for an opportunity and I was really looking forward to participating in that program. However, after months of waiting I got the response - “we regret to inform you…”

I expected the big fat resounding NO to hit my mind like a tsunami, crumbling my self confidence and spinning aching whirlpools of overthinking.

Waited and waited. But this time, it was just like a calm wave splashing against a rock on the shore.

No big WOOF, life went on and I was perfectly alright.

Facing and processing this question led me to a much-needed realisation, not about life, but rather about myself. It’s OKAY to fail.

The next time you’re asking the “why does this always happen to me” question take it as a sign to take a long hard look within.

Playing the victim mentality doesn’t do you any favours.

Try this way to look at failure:

Your life is neither the sum total of your successes nor the sum total of your failures. It is always a mixture, a net total of both of these factors.

No one has all happy or all sad moments in life. Chuck what you see on social media. That’s the REEL life, not the REAL life. Everyone around you is facing some challenge in their daily life - someone could be failing an exam, that girl sipping coffee might be going through a heartbreak, that successful entrepreneur you see running his business could be drowning in depth. The point is YOU DO NOT KNOW.

What you do know is what lies within you. You define what counts as “success” and “failure” for you. The things that bring you happiness and satisfaction can go in the positive column and the ones that drain you out leaving you exhausted can go in the negative column.

To be real with you, you know why this rejection did not bother me? because it did not matter to me. I was so busy with other opportunities and grateful for what has already been uplifting my spirits that this one failure could not paint the sky black.

It’s all a game of perspective. Choose what makes you happy because happiness cannot be faked. If it’s real it shows.